("Worlds Away" by Jebediah) ♫ Worlds away from anyone
♫ They were burning themselves out in the sun
♫ Worlds away from anyone
♫ They were burning themselves out in the sun
♫ There was just enough to get them far away
♫ Ooh
♫ Ooh ooh ooh
- [Lockie] They look so innocent,
floating about all round and shimmery,
hiding out at kid's parties, landing on your nose.
But there's a dangerous side to bubbles too.
Bubbles can get you into some serious trouble.
- What are the charges?
Joy Leonard, embezzling.
Barbara Leonard, resist arrest, assault police.
What about these two? - Impersonation racket.
- [Lockie] And then there was the business with the bubble.
I better fill you in on a few of the gaps.
Vicki and I were blissed out in our own little world
where no one else existed except us.
- You hang up.
- (laughs) No.
You hang up.
It was like we were living in a bubble.
Our very own private bubble of happiness.
- (laughs) No, you hang up.
- (laughs) No.
You hang up.
- (laughs) You win.
But Vicki and I were so caught up in ourselves,
we had no idea that people around us
were finding us hard to stomach.
But that's the trouble with bubbles.
You can't see what's going on,
on the outside, or how your behaviour
is affecting other people in the real world.
Even Sarge, whose job description is my Dad,
says he's supposed to be completely
obsessed with my happiness.
Well, even he was struggling with
our bubble-related behaviour.
- (retches) Pardon me.
- Are you feeling okay, Sarge?
- Oh well, sick is probably too strong a word,
it's more a-- - Bilious?
- Yeah.
- [Lockie] Meanwhile, Mum was also trapped in a bubble.
Snacks, Sarge, after-school snacks.
- Expecting company are we?
- [Lockie] Mum's bubble was her own little world of worry.
After two weeks at Angelus High,
and not one play date,
Mum was worried Phillip was never going to have any friends.
- If I cook it, they will come.
- [Lockie] You could say that Mum was
still a little bit scarred by her own school experience.
(light music)
- You should be outside playing with the other children,
it's such a lovely day.
- [Lockie] But as much as she wanted them,
Mum didn't have any friends to play with.
- It's okay.
- [Lockie] And she didn't want
things to be the same for Phillip.
- More tea? - No thanks, love.
- [Lockie] The next day Sarge and Snowy
prepared to welcome a new friend.
- Got a good feeling about this new officer, Snowy.
Bit of feminine energy around here
is just what we need to balance things up.
- She cooks a dense cake, does Joy.
- She does indeed, now.
Flower on the side of the plate,
nice touch or too much?
- Not sure Sarge, they're from out the front.
People walk their dogs past there.
- Right okay, we'll leave that then.
Let's have a quick run through.
Right.
Welcome her, thunders of fort and of fleet.
Welcome her, thundering cheer of the street.
Welcome her, all things youthful and sweet,
scatter the blossom under her feet,
break happy land into earlier flowers,
make music, oh bird, in the new buttered bowers,
blazen your mottos of blessing and prayer,
welcome her, welcome her, all that is ours.
No Snowy, you have to come in on the--
Constable Waddle?
- Depends who's asking.
(clock ticking)
- I'm Snowy, he's Sarge.
And we've got a cake.
- Course you do.
Tea cake so hard I'm going to break my teeth.
Poems so bad I'm gonna throw up.
Ha.
I didn't come down in the last shower fellas.
I've been the new girl before.
I can spot a prank a mile off.
- It's a shame you've been in the city, Constable.
You have been trained to expect the worst.
Granted, that cake is firm,
but it was baked with love.
And this verse,
if listened to without fear of trickery,
is a herald of genuine goodwill.
(clock ticking)
- Are you for real?
- 100%.
- [Lockie] Over at the Eagleston's,
Reverend Egg was struggling to make sense of things too.
Since Egg's mum left, it kind of burst their family bubble,
and Rev was at a bit of a loose end.
(light rock music)
- Wow.
- At least he's still got his relationship with God.
- Maybe the Rev needs a friend.
Then he wouldn't be sad, and then you wouldn't be sad.
- Maybe even a friend that's a girl.
- Where am I going to find somebody
who wants to be his friend?
- You wouldn't have to.
- I wouldn't?
- Leave it to Lockie and I.
- Really? - Really?
- Absolutely.
We'd love to help out.
- What's in it for you?
- What's in it for us?
- We just--
we just want to see you happy.
And in a weird way, it was completely true.
We wanted him to be happy.
So we could be happy without feeling
guilty for being in our bubble.
- Leave it to us, Egg.
That's the price of happiness, Lockie.
Now that we've brought the best out
in each other we have to look out
for those less fortunate than ourselves.
- You are a remarkable person, Vicki Streeton.
- You are. - You are.
- No, you are. - No, you are.
- So, Constable Waddle, I'm sure Angelus
isn't the last step on your career path.
What were you hoping to achieve while you were here?
- Um, lots of arrests.
- No come on, really, I'm interested.
- I'm really interested in arresting people.
- [Sarge] Really?
- Zero tolerance, apprehend first,
ask questions later, one strike and you're out.
- One strike?
Well, I'm afraid we don't get
too many strikes here in Angelus.
- Doesn't sound like you look for any.
- Well, Constable Waddle,
we tend to operate on the idea
that it's hard to read a good poem
and commit a crime at the same time.
I think you'll find we run a pretty tight ship here.
(clock ticking)
Feel welcome to prove me wrong,
unless of course, you're not up for it.
- Don't worry, I'm up for it.
- [Lockie] Sam was determined to
prove there was crime in Angelus,
and burst Sarge's bubble in the process.
While Mum, she was trying to convince Blob
it was their duty to help Phillip make new friends.
- We don't want to miss play lunch, do we?
I mean just a little smile and a wave
as we go past might be all the encouragement he needs.
(bell rings) (light rock music)
You see Phillip anywhere, Blob?
(children playing)
Oh.
You don't need to see this, Blob.
- Mum, what are you doing here?
- Stay out of this, Phillip.
Play lunch is a very small window
of opportunity, Mr. Squasher.
How do you expect Phillip to make
friends when you keep him in here?
It's because he's a Leonard, isn't it?
Not enough you have to punish one of my sons
but now you have to make both of them pay.
- Um, Mum, I was just-- - It's alright, Phillip.
Adults can be bullies too, and sooner or later,
someone just has to stand up to them.
- We're in a teacher-student science competition,
Phillip is here by choice, Mrs. Leonard.
- But--
Why aren't you outside playing with all the others?
It's a beautiful day out there.
- I'm happy.
- [Lockie] Suddenly, Phillip reminded
Mum of someone she used to know.
- More tea?
- Oh, of course you would say that.
- Why are you here anyway?
Did I forget my lunchbox again?
- Tuck shop.
I heard they were short-staffed this term.
- Are you sure that's a good idea?
- Mrs. Ramsgate runs a pretty tight ship.
(dramatic music)
(Joy clears her throat)
- Something I can help you with?
I'm waiting.
- [Lockie] Mum should've run a mile,
but she was determined to help
Phillip find some new friends.
- Well, I would like to apply to, you know.
Volunteer? - I see!
- Joy Leonard.
- This isn't just any old tuck shop,
I run a very tight ship.
The recess bell waits for no one.
- Oh, I have a lot of experience making sandwiches.
And I'm very fast.
- It takes more than fast, Mrs. Leonard.
- Oh, I'm inventive too, with my sandwich fillings,
tuna and honey, tomato and jam--
- So, you're creative, oh, that's very well and good,
but let's cut to the chase.
How fast can you make a cheese sandwich?
- Three in under a minute, with pickles.
- Plastic-wrapped? - And paper-bagged.
- Impressive.
See Norell over there for your plastic glove,
and don't take it home.
It belongs to the tuck shop.
- [Lockie] Mum wasn't the only one
with tunnel vision that day.
Just throw more at me, free-form.
- Uh, fun, active, intelligent.
- You can't be serious. - Good, good.
Keep 'em coming.
- You're putting an ad in the paper
to find Rev a new friend. - Yeah, don't lose energy.
- I don't think this is a good idea.
- Bubbly, spontaneous-- - Deaf?
- I didn't know the Rev was deaf.
- He's not, and you guys aren't listening to me.
I'm not sure this is a very good idea.
- I'm just not sure if you're
best judge of that right now, Egg.
- He's my Dad. - Exactly.
Now where were we up to?
- Uh, sensitive, recently-separated,
seeks female companion, spontaneous fun,
interest in God an advantage.
- Gold.
Gold.
- One salad in a bowl. - Thanks.
- And-- (sneaky music)
One vanilla slice, courtesy of Phillip Leonard.
First year? - Sure.
- You in first year?
You can thank Phillip Leonard. (shiny ding)
First year? I don't think so, next window.
- [Lockie] Hello Mum.
- Hi, Lock.
You know, I don't think they've
changed this recipe in 17 years.
- Oh. Can I have one?
Even though I'm not in first year?
Or really a candidate for Phillip's new gang of buddies.
- You know, I think this is the last one.
- Will someone tell me where
they've put all the vanilla slices.
- Thank you.
- Hello Sarge, did you have a good day?
Did Constable Waddle really like my tea cake?
- Hard to say, she didn't appreciate
my poem as much as I'd hoped.
- Well, did you pick a good one?
- Alfred Lord Tennyson. - Uh.
- She's a strange fish but you know, we'll get there.
- Think I'm going to have a soak
and then get into my pyjamas tonight Mum.
- What? Already?
- Big day tomorrow Mum.
Bonus questions on the teacher-student quiz,
want to make sure I'm well-rested.
- Save some for the others. - What others?
- Well they might still come.
- [Lockie] But Phillip wasn't actually
in a hurry for a new friend.
And Rev wasn't either.
- Hey Dad.
What are you doing? - Oh, nothing much, just--
- Just writing to Mum?
You gonna send it this time?
- I'm not sure.
- Maybe you need someone new to write to, Dad.
(crickets chirping)
("Come On Come On" by Little Birdy)
- [Lockie] What can I say?
The ad Vicki and I put in the paper,
asking people to audition to be
Rev's new friend got a big response.
Maybe too big. - Hi, come on in.
Thanks very much for coming.
♫ I got cigarette on cigarette mindful
♫ I got foolish so I took him on home
♫ I said ooh, ooh-ooh
♫ You don't need me, don't tell me you want me
♫ I'm, I'm over it
♫ You can't have it and that's why you want it
♫ I'm, I'm over it
♫ Baby, if you and me aren't trying
♫ I can't see the point
♫ Come on, come on
♫ Baby, if you and me aren't trying
♫ I can't see the point
♫ Come on, come on
♫ I got exorcist on my morning station
- There's no way you can look me in the eye
and say that Liz isn't the hands-down winner.
- I don't know why you're so impressed by Liz,
she's got nothing on Sue.
- Hello, Liz has been hiking in Peru,
she rides a Harley, she surfs, Vicki.
- Ah, the ideal woman, right? - Um, guys.
- You are such a neanderthal sometimes.
- Am not. - Are too.
- Am not, look, Liz is clearly our only choice.
Sue is just wrong. - They're both wrong.
There's no room for them, either of them.
- But they're both so slim.
- Yeah, they wouldn't take up that much room.
- You're not listening to me.
There's no space, at all.
I miss my Mum, alright?
- [Lockie] And that's when it happened.
That's when Vicki and I finally realised
the cost of living in a bubble.
You get so caught up in your own stuff
you stop looking out for other people,
and stop seeing what they really need.
Which for Egg right now, was a friend.
We're sorry, Egg.
- Never been so humiliated in all my life.
Why did I go to that audition?
Why, why? Oh, I need a vanilla slice.
- Um, Ms. Ramsgate,
I have a little confession.
- Recently separated, interest in God an advantage?
Something fishy about this ad.
(phone rings)
Angelus Police?
I see, don't let the suspect get away.
("Come On Come On" by Little Birdy)
Snowy, we've got a case on our hands.
This her?
- No, no.
- (clears throat) You're coming with me.
What do we have here?
An accomplice? (Blob vomits)
Vanilla slice. You're coming too.
(Snowy hyperventilates)
Has anybody got a paper bag?
- I know how you feel, today's been a shocker.
Between this and the audition--
- Audition?
Oi.
You guys put an ad in the paper?
- Yeah, but you're a bit late I'm afraid.
You look a bit young to be recently separated.
- The ad was for someone else, who isn't here.
- And doesn't even know we're here.
- I smell fraud.
♫ Foolish mind giving me my own halo
- Snowy.
♫ I am tempted into your living room.
(Snowy hyperventilates)
♫ I said ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
♫ You don't need me
- I can't believe you didn't tell me who they were.
Give me a go. - I was in shock.
Couldn't speak.
(knock on door)
- Hi Snowy.
Mum?!
- Good, you've come to bust me out.
- What happened?
- Well, I took a lot of vanilla slices
and I forgot to pay for them.
- Was Ms. Ramsgate very angry?
- I should've listened to you and Mr. Squasher.
Is it really okay, Phillip?
That you don't have many friends apart from old Squasher?
- Well, you don't have many friends,
and you're still happy.
- [Lockie] And that, hearing the plain and simple truth,
Mum was reminded that Phillip didn't really need anything.
Like her, he had everything he wanted,
and it was enough to finally burst Mum's worry bubble.
- And do you know why that is?
Why I am so happy?
- 'Cause you've got us?
- You are a remarkable young man, Phillip Leonard.
- Thanks Mum.
Mum, you're squashing my face.
(rock music on headphones)
- I saw the ad.
Not that I'm ready,
for a new friend,
but you've got some nice ones.
They weren't really doing it for me, Geoffrey,
they were doing it for you.
- Hand me those keys.
We've got no other choice, we have to let them go.
- Ah.
Well, well, well.
What do we have here then?
I have to say Constable,
these are some very serious charges.
But what impresses me most is
you've glimpsed the atrocities just beneath,
the very, very subtle crimes it
would've been very easy to miss.
Meddling, of the highest order.
Multiple counts of CSA. - CSA?
- Criminal self-absorption.
You've come a long way this week.
Commendable work.
Welcome to Angelus.
- [Lockie] Constable Waddle realised
Sarge didn't really live in a bubble after all.
He just lived in Angelus,
and as for the rest of us,
Sarge wasn't about to let us off the hook.
- The Rock and the Bubble, by Louisa May Alcott.
- [Lockie] Sarge kept us back late,
reciting a long, illustrative poem,
pointing out the vain, one-sided dangers of bubbles.
- Heed little birdlings, and wiser you'll be,
for the lesson learned today, by the sea.
You're free to go. - Sarge's poem was spot on.
Vicki and I had learned our lesson,
and were ready to give up on bubbles.
For good.
(bubble pops)
("Worlds Away" by Jebediah)
♫ Ooh
♫ Ooh ooh ooh
♫ Boy is breaking
♫ Underneath the weight of strain
♫ Eh he he
♫ Worlds away from anyone
♫ They were burning themselves out in the sun
♫ Worlds away from anyone
♫ They were burning themselves out in the sun
♫ There was just enough to get them far away
♫ Ooh